Best Tourist Awards

So after a brief sujourn back to Paris, hitting the Lourve (pronounced looouuuurrrrvvvvveeeerrrreeeee) - there are no lines its all a myth) I have now been joined on the Messy Dayz Express by my travel companions for the next 6 weeks. In all things there are competitions, so naturally we are keeping a running score on who is the best traveller in the team. I thought it would be a nice time to give you a quick run down on the competitors, and a rap up of the first few days of competition.

BA Tron - A natural traveller having spent the past 5 weeks in a commune in Turkey he has returned to the world of travel refreshed and ready squeeze as much life as possible out of the journey. So far he has surprised many with his reverse psychology techniques of not wanting to see any tourist attractions and being more interested in the running tally of the 3, 10, 2 contest and who is sleeping in which bed. Thankfully the saving grace is the bushy beard he has managed to grow in a relatively short time. Naturally everyone shaved last Saturday, so the official world cup beard growing contest could begin, and he all ready has a handy lead, it could be that he is a particullarly manly man, or it could be that the rest of the lads just aren't that way (or it could be that he secretly didn't shave his tour de france beard...).

Kloss- Kloss arrived on the Champs Elysee (pronounced Chumps E Lee See Aaaahh) looking and feeling great. Of course when you have travelled half way around the world in Emeriates First Class you had better be looking good. He lost immediate points in the traveller competition. He lost further points when he pulled out his Emeriates Pyjama's at the first sign of any cold conditions. He has however spent the last six weeks brooding alone in his mansion, clutching at a snifter of brandy, and working on his French. So he claimed the lead in the trousiting competition when he managed to pull out the old "Un tas de vin blanc" (I can't capture how his pronunciation sounded in words (think chainsaws)) when we couldn't get the guy at the Planet Hollywood to understand that Ness wanted a glass of the house white. Of course the fact that he was the one who wanted to go to Planet Hollywood immediatly takes some shine off his (very) small victory.

Duggan- Danny Duggan was the first to join the Messy Dayz on Tuesday morning. He had strong creditentials as a gonzo traveller when the extent of our planning for a meeting place was him sending an email from Tullermarine saying "Mate I will be there around 6:30 in two days, won't have a phone so I will try and call you" the problem was he didn't have my phone number, and I didn't know what it was to tell him. Anyways, long story short I bit the bullet and just showed up to Charles De Gaulle (pronounced CDG- we're such cool hip travellers) illegally parked the bus and went inside. It was at this point that I remembered that I didn't actually know what he looked like, and my appearance has changed significantly in the last 8 months... I do however have a sixth sense for victorians so when I saw a vanilla white corpse wandering lost threw the terminal I immediatly knew it was him. Dan has been to places all over Australia so many expected him to go well on the continet but he has been loosing points for his annecdotes about the fear on his plane trip, and his wide eyedidness (is that a word) as we walked the streets of gaye Paris.

Timmy B.T.- Why his parents decided to call him B.T. I don't know but the star winger of the Armidale United first 15 has been an instant hit in old Francois. First he managed to live through the hell that was a five take off/landings hell from Sydney to Auckland to Haiwaii to Denver to Toronto to CDG, but off course he losses points for using the Rhys Liddle Travel Agency to book his flights. He gains points for his never ending stream of strange French terms he has managed to pick up. He briefly lead the entire competition when he told Jordy Tunny that he didn't speak English (in French) the poor kid immediatly ran back to his mummy. He fell from the top rank of travellers though when he failed to bring home the bacon as my touch football partner last night.

Rhys Mentieth Liddle - Many expected him to be the drain on the entire journey. And so far he has not disapointed at all. Rhys can be summed up by a quick story about his arrival in France. First he had managed to book the Sydney/Auckland/Haiwaii/Denver/Toronto/CDG flight from hell for his companions, then he had brought a completely impractical Samuri Sword in Haiwaii (why we don't know) and then he managed to get his travel companions very lost as we went to meet them in the centre of Paris. Yes he managed to come to a strange land with no phone capabilities, yes he didn't do any research as to how to get around central Paris with heaps of luggage, but he did managed to remember that the Champs Elysse was a famous landmark so he called us and told us to meet him there. So we went to the Chumps. Now most will remember that the famous avenue is about 3 kilometres long, 12 lanes wide,with foot paths about 4 lanes wide- it was not a well thought out meeting place. He called again after an hour or so of waiting (we hadn't got there yet we were running on Rhys time ourselves) and narrowed it down to the Arc De Triumphe end of the chumps, near the Rugby store- my nerves weren't calmed but Kloss seemed confident. So we get to the top end of the chumps (having easily met up with the Tunnies on the way) and there was no Rhys, we looked into the middle of the round about, at the massive Arc, and all assured ourselves that there was no way he could possibly be over there. We stood around for a little while longer, no Rhys, Fuck It we better check' Kloss decided so we went into the middle of Arc De Triumphe, no Rhys.

The Fear and Loathing was desending fast, all of it directed at a little Harry Potter looking mother fucker who has a long history of messing up these sorts of meet ups, oh I remember the time I played hookey from school and stood on the side of the road like an escaped criminal for two hours waiting, and waiting for my escape car... it never arrived, something about getting new tires or somethign was the excuse. Anyways, we finally forked over the money to go to the very top of the Arc, convincing ourselves all the way up that there is no way he could be that stupid (it would be a hell of a climb with luggage) and we got up there, no Rhys. Finally as we stood looking out over Paris at the incredible views on hand did we spot three begraggled looking Aussies, perched on a park bench on the far side of the round about. With some arm waving and shouting we managed to get them to meet us back around at the Chumps. When we finally met B.T. and Ness were showing all the signs of a hard week spent taking off and landing, but true to form old FUC was well rested, unconcerned about the last 3 hours and ready to defend his total lack of ability to follow through on a plan.He won't be winning any awards voted on by his touring companions, but the nice thing about Rhyso is I don't believe he cares.

Ness- Ness has been left till last because she is currently the out and out leader of the best traveler competition. Many thought the chances of the lone girl in the Messy Dayz were slim, but Miss Hollis the battler from the bush has wowed us all with the casualiness of her take over of the Messy Dayz. She arrived in Paris with two suit cases, a smaller case and a hand bag. She arrived at the bus carrying her bag, so quickly had she managed to get the lads under her thrall that they were carrying her bags for her. She then proceded to quickly rearrange the carefully thought out storage solutions that yours truely had engineered during August. And finally she hit the top of the best traveller competition when she confidently commendeared the Fort Bed for herself (after some cajoling Rhys managed to get in their with her...) She has shown herself to be a deft touch at cards (except when houses are being bet) and I suspect that Danny Duggan may be a little scared of her. The coupe de grace however came last night when long into a bottle of champaigne she announced that due to her extreme western service (she is so close to the NSW border she is not sure if she is payed by the NSW or South Aus governments) that she gets some sort of mega rebate back on her holidays. So to sum up, she has taken control of the back two thirds of the bus, has two votes at her disposal whenever we have to vote on something, has at least one of the tour members scared of her, and will in all likelihood get a fair chunk of her trip payed for by her employer... There are few flies on Ness.